This is from an article written by a child-nurse in a new letter for new parents. I love how she describes the whole father/dad-role. It is truly underrated and I think all fathers should read this and hopefully learn just how precious and valuable they are to the upbringing of a child.
The other day a father told
me: ”It’s weird becoming a father – often I feel more like a handy man than a
dad” It’s a bit worrying and actually a shame… because obviously, as a father,
you’re more than just a ‘handy man’. You mean a lot to your child from the very
beginning – even though your child is too young to tell you. That’s why I’ve
written down my 10 suggestions to what your child would tell you if it could.
1) I love your deep voice
When you talk to me I get
calm. I know your voice from when I was 22 weeks old and in mum’s belly – when
you speak I hear it clearly- Your voice reaches my ears and effect me because
it’s deeper than other voices I hear. When I am really upset I calm down as I
hear your deep there-there or schyss-schyss
2) I love the sound of your
heartbeat.
When I lie on your chest, I
feel completely safe. It reminds me of the time I spend in the uterus, where I
could hear the heartbeat, feel the breathing and also the heat from your body.
I enjoy lying with you, it makes me feel safe. The more we’re together – physically
close together – the more you hold me, carry me close, the better it is.
3
3) I love your beard.
When I am 5 to 6 weeks old, I
start to differ more between contrast and colour and I get fascinated by
contrasts and shades. When I look at your face it’s particular exciting to look
at your beard because it creates a contrast to your skin, like your hair and
forehead often catch my eye. I love it when you hold me so I can look at your
face and study it for a long time.
It’s difficult for me to
figure out what my need is. Sometimes I think I need to eat all the time but
actually I have loads of milk in my belly and I need help calming down instead.
When I lie with you I do not get confused by the smell of milk. That’s why I
sleep better by you, I stop crying, calm down and falls asleep because you do
not smell like milk.
When you hold me in your hands
and when I’m in your arms, I can feel your bodystructure, your bigger muscels and
your wider, bigger hands. It makes me feel safe and gives me a feeling that
you’re able to handle me. I’m not scared that you’re going to drop me, on the
contrary, it gives me the feeling that I am completely safe with you and that
you take care of me.
6) I love reflecting myself in
you
I love watching you and what
you do. When you stick your tongue out, I try and do the same, when you wink at
me or say funny sounds, I try to copy that. There is something truly
fascinating about the faces you pull and I love watching you.
7) I love that you let me try
I love that you’re there when
it’s time to explore the world and when I am testing myself. It’s not often
that you say: “Be careful!”, instead we explore the world together and you
often focus on what’s new, fun and exciting.
8) I love that you’re fun
You’re so fun to play with. You’re
always trouble and when you tease me, it’s always with love and a gleam in your
eyes. I really like when you swing me around, dance with me in the livingroom
or turn me upside down. The best thing is when you tickle me with your fingers,
from the tip of my toes, up the legs, over the belly and under my chin. I flex
my body from the excitement and it’s fun every single time.
Sometimes I can cause you
parents to worry, sometimes I cry and I’m having difficulty stopping, sometimes
I’m tired, sometimes my tummy hurts and sometimes I’m just sad and neither you
nor I know why. And I love that you, in these situations, keep your calm. You continuously
say “it’s going to be all right” and you walk around with me, sing to me and
you continue and continue and continue – calm and comforting – and finally I
also calm down.
I love you because I can feel
that you love me . I love that you’re apart of the care-taking, that you are
there for me and that I have you. I love you more and more every time you talk
to me, look at me, listen to me and respond to me. The more you hug me, caress
me, hold me and is there for me. I love you more and more for every day that
passes where we’re spending time together.
An old word of wisdom:
When you’re 5 years old, you
think your dad knows everything
When you’re 10 years old you
think your dad knows a lot
When you’re 15 years old you
think you know as much as your dad
When you’re 20 years old your
dad doesn’t understand much
When you’re 30 years old you
think that maybe you should ask your dad
When you’re 40 years old you
think your dad is a bit reasonable
When you’re 50 years old you
dad knows everything
When you’re 60 years old you
wish your dad was there so you could ask him.
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