Saving time and saving money

It’s an oxymoron really, I swear! If you want to, for an example, save money on presents, you make them yourself but that takes time. Cutting corners and buying it yourself saves time but not money. I am in the process of reading India Knight’s “Live well and spend less”

 and must say, that book has changed my life. Just one chapter in and I bought seeds, potting dirt and pots to make a small garden (we live in the second floor) so my windowsill is filled and so is half the balcony. If it’s going to work? No idea but I am giving it a try, I have little to loose. I spend a bit of money on the seeds and the dirt and I bought the pots in the second hand shop. I compared prices from Ikea and the local garden center and the local second hand shop: there was no doubt, ok, the pots are not all the same or the same size but they were only between 25 cents and 1 euro instead of 5 to 15 euros per pot.

I have save money but not time, I had to go several different places to get the things I needed and it took quite a bit of time (my bike is out of business at the moment) but I got the things I needed.

I had a small chat with my lovely manneke (the husband) and aired my concern that his family, if I had to give them presents, would find it cheap if I made the things myself. He assured me that spending time was more valuable than spending money (I love him sooo much!) and never the less, if the person receiving the gift was to find it cheap, it was their own problem and their values in life would be all wrong. (I really really love him!)

My mother (a very wise woman) has always had what she called: a gift cabinet. It’s a cabinet, box, shelf (out of reach for the kids) where small items, things found on sale, useless (to you) presents and so on. It’s a place where you go to look when you have a party coming up and you’ve either not had the time or the money to go find something to give to the host/birthday person (or you, like me, simply forgot :p ) And I subconsciously started doing that myself, we got a lot of similar things for the different children for their birth and birthday and I have, I confess, used some of it in presents to other friends who had babies. It saves me both time and money plus in this world, where we buy much more than we need and end up throwing it away, often unused, I find it sooooo important that we think a bit clever at times, save a bit of time, money and lessen the CO2 production – if even just a tiny bit. I do believe that every little thing counts.

India Knights "Live well and spend less" is available at Amazon.co.uk here:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Thrift-Book-Live-Well-Spend/dp/0141038233/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368948634&sr=1-6&keywords=india+knight

Waste nothing

The average household in Denmark throws out 700 kg of edible food each year - to me that is a scary amount and such waste - both money wise but also food wise considering we live in a world where people still die from starvation every single day.
My mother (a very wise woman) gave me the advice when I complained about the kiddies never finishing their oatmeal or porridge, to save the leftovers and put it into the dough next time I baked bread. I do that now, a long with the pieces of banana Quinten leaves on his plate that goes brown, the applesauce Lily doesn't finish and the porridge each morning - everything in a container and into the freezer for next time I have to bake bread.
Leftover veggies from dinner also gets saved, put in a container and into the freezer for either to be blended into a pulp and added to the bread mix or added to the pastasauce.
Bread that has gone stale I either bake in the oven until crispy and then ground them up to make breadcrumbs for when making soufflé, crust for the chicken (legs, breast, you name it) OR I make bread-pudding. That's something that Steve has taught me and to be honest, he's the only one that eats it - I find it foul. But never the less, I put all the 'old' bread in a bowl, add sugar, coffee, raisins, half an grated appel and water and let it soak over night, mix it up until it resembles a bread dough. In to a baking pan (bread-style) and bake it for about 45 minutes. Normally I put chocolate on top but Steve does not like that (anymore) because it makes too much of a mess (don't ask)
The presents my kids get, either the ones that a double of something they already have or something that does not interest them, goes in a special cabinet, the gift cabinet, for when I am running out of time to find a little something for a cousin or when funds are low (and let's face it, we've all tried that) But a warning should be given: NEVER let the kids find out where the items are kept OR leave it unlocked. The consequences can be severe.
Clothes to the second hand shop: if it's of such a state that I wouldn't even dress my own children in it (I have only one standard: dry and not in threads) I cut it out to use the fabrics for some of my designs, my hubby's old jeans because some very nice hats for the kids for winter.
(to be updated)

Prepping the week

Sunday is an infamous relaxations day and it should be but taking into consideration how hectic the weekdays are, maybe it would be wise to spend a few minutes, an hour or so to prep for the week to come. A food plan is always a good thing to have at hand, it saves the "what are we going to eat tonight" followed by "what do I have in the freezer?" and the panic "I have to go shopping for milk/potatoes/rice/bread etc"
Potatoes
Sunday night I peal a whole bag of potatoes (bought Saturday morning) and put them in a pot with water, if you have somewhere cool you can put them there but I put mine in the fridge. So Monday, I only have to find the meat and sauce needed for the food, pealing potatoes is a chore anyway and it takes up valuable time. Pealed potatoes in a pot of water is good for 2-3 days, personally I would change the water on the 2nd day.
Meat
Saturday/Sunday: When you've gone shopping, send the kids with daddy to the playground or somewhere else so you can work intensely for about an hour. Brown meat in a big pot, add water and broth, add vegetables - any kind you would like and if your kids are fussy eaters, chop it very finely or boil them first and then blend them into a pulp. Let it all simmer, add flavours, salt and pepper. I normally go very big in this stage, filling my 20 litre pot to the brim because then I divide the meat/veg stew into smaller portions and one becomes pastasauce (for pasta), one becomes a mild chilli (for rice) and one becomes a brown meat-sauce (for potatoes). Often I also take a few portions of the 'raw' stew and put in the freezer, this is good for Shepard's pie. When everything is done, flavoured and finished, it needs to cool off, I take a portion aside for dinner and the rest is divided into plastic-bags (I lack plastic-containers and room for them in my freezer) and one important thing is: label them! Mystery-dinner in this house never goes down easy

Sauce
There is no shame in ready made sauces or powder-sauce. It's quick and easy

Vegetables
I hate tinned or canned foods, I seriously hate them! I buy all my vegetables in frost or I buy them fresh at the marked, clean and portion pack them and stuff them in the freezer, it's easy that way to make sure you add a few greens to the plate, it's important for you and it's important to teach your child to eat.

Cutting corners

I'm busy and with the two little ones around my ankles all the time I am very busy. There is laundry, cooking, cleaning and kids that needs food, clean clothes and attention and I'm at home all the time. I can't start to imagine how I'm going to get everything done when I start working so I've started cutting corners and planning ahead.

Breakfast:
I serve my kids porridge in the morning but the damn thing is warm and kids aren't really known for their patience so what to do? I like adding fruit or berries to the porridge, for a bit of flavour and to make it a bit sweet. I've bought a big quantity of berries, boiled them and added a bit of sugar

I blended them 

Put them in the freezer in plastic-containers (icecube-bags are not recommended, it's impossible to pour the berrie-compot into them without getting a hot mess) I only filled the container about a centimetre and then as they were frozen, I cut them into squares and back in a container, ready for use.
Adding a few cubes cools the porridge so it's ready to serve without you having to blow yourself blue in order to serve your hungry (STARVING! ) child as quickly as possible.
Tip: Pour milk into icecube-bags and use to cool porridge, rice and mashed potatoes

Hit the ground running

When you become a mother you seriously hit the ground running, you can read oh so many books, go to parenting class, birth preparation, first aid-classes and so on but there is nothing that can prepare you for the change a child has on your life. The lack of sleep is something your body will adjust to, the countless hours walking with the little one on your arm, the uneasy sleep in the rocking chair (but still sleep) and still we manage. Maybe not to the perfect grade that our parents think they could manage in same situation but we manage. True, the children doesn't always have clothes that match, there might be jam on the trousers and a bit of yoghurt in the hair but the child is thriving, happy, full and with a relative clean diaper. Everyone thinks they can do it muuuuuch better but no one can, once you're a parent you are everything to your child, they do not see it as neglect that you serve them frosted flakes for dinner or that the livingroom needs a serious amount of cleaning - there simply is no time. As long as there is time for the child, to be held, to be hugged and to be kissed. It's important, they know it and you know it. Perfection is something that comes later or from day one if you can see that the perfection is your wonderful little bundle of joy - everything else is obsolete.

Running with scissors

In life, your parents have taught you to be careful, to sit and eat without making too much of a mess, to dress yourself, to be kind and polite and all the other basics of life but have your ever wondered about the process? How much work went into teaching you to hold your fork right? Which shoe goes on which foot? For every day I spend as a parents I become more and more grateful for my mother and for the enormous work she put into raising me. True that it takes a village to raise a child but I certainly do not see the mayor coming by to help change diapers, or the merchant cleaning spilled milk off my kitchenfloor or the town idiot wrestling my toddler into his jammies. And while teaching all the basics you also have to remember the safety-dance. Fire is hot, fingers stuck in the door hurts, the toilet is not a source of water and so on. It's a constant race to keep up with them, what will they think of now? and more importantly, how do I prevent it and stay 2 steps ahead of them? Needless to say, my son is always covered in bruises, sometimes I suspect people of thinking that I beat him, I promise, I don't - there is no need to, he is perfectly capable of causing injury to himself.
When he climbs onto the officechair and from there tries to get onto the computer-table I fear the chair is gonna slip from under him and often it does, I brace myself for the fall and cross my fingers, hoping that this time he'll learn but does he? It hasn't happened yet.
When he slams the door on his fingers I comfort him and ask him if that hurt and please not to do it again, I turn my back and he goes over and does it again. Sometimes I wonder if one of the many falls he's taken has caused permanent damage.
Life brings you scars, bumps and bruises and our parents did one hell of a job raising us and now it's our turn, I'm sure all my children will survive, more or less intact and when it's their turn I will rest on my laurels, offer advice when asked and just ENJOY that: "Been there, done that!"

I love you dad

This is from an article written by a child-nurse in a new letter for new parents. I love how she describes the whole father/dad-role. It is truly underrated and I think all fathers should read this and hopefully learn just how precious and valuable they are to the upbringing of a child.

The other day a father told me: ”It’s weird becoming a father – often I feel more like a handy man than a dad” It’s a bit worrying and actually a shame… because obviously, as a father, you’re more than just a ‘handy man’. You mean a lot to your child from the very beginning – even though your child is too young to tell you. That’s why I’ve written down my 10 suggestions to what your child would tell you if it could.

1) I love your deep voice

When you talk to me I get calm. I know your voice from when I was 22 weeks old and in mum’s belly – when you speak I hear it clearly- Your voice reaches my ears and effect me because it’s deeper than other voices I hear. When I am really upset I calm down as I hear your deep there-there or schyss-schyss

2) I love the sound of your heartbeat.

When I lie on your chest, I feel completely safe. It reminds me of the time I spend in the uterus, where I could hear the heartbeat, feel the breathing and also the heat from your body. I enjoy lying with you, it makes me feel safe. The more we’re together – physically close together – the more you hold me, carry me close, the better it is.

3 

            3) I love your beard.

When I am 5 to 6 weeks old, I start to differ more between contrast and colour and I get fascinated by contrasts and shades. When I look at your face it’s particular exciting to look at your beard because it creates a contrast to your skin, like your hair and forehead often catch my eye. I love it when you hold me so I can look at your face and study it for a long time.

4) I love it that you do not smell like milk

It’s difficult for me to figure out what my need is. Sometimes I think I need to eat all the time but actually I have loads of milk in my belly and I need help calming down instead. When I lie with you I do not get confused by the smell of milk. That’s why I sleep better by you, I stop crying, calm down and falls asleep because you do not smell like milk.

5) I love that you signal security

When you hold me in your hands and when I’m in your arms, I can feel your bodystructure, your bigger muscels and your wider, bigger hands. It makes me feel safe and gives me a feeling that you’re able to handle me. I’m not scared that you’re going to drop me, on the contrary, it gives me the feeling that I am completely safe with you and that you take care of me.

6) I love reflecting myself in you

I love watching you and what you do. When you stick your tongue out, I try and do the same, when you wink at me or say funny sounds, I try to copy that. There is something truly fascinating about the faces you pull and I love watching you.

        7) I love that you let me try

I love that you’re there when it’s time to explore the world and when I am testing myself. It’s not often that you say: “Be careful!”, instead we explore the world together and you often focus on what’s new, fun and exciting.

8) I love that you’re fun

You’re so fun to play with. You’re always trouble and when you tease me, it’s always with love and a gleam in your eyes. I really like when you swing me around, dance with me in the livingroom or turn me upside down. The best thing is when you tickle me with your fingers, from the tip of my toes, up the legs, over the belly and under my chin. I flex my body from the excitement and it’s fun every single time.

9)     I love your peace and perspective

Sometimes I can cause you parents to worry, sometimes I cry and I’m having difficulty stopping, sometimes I’m tired, sometimes my tummy hurts and sometimes I’m just sad and neither you nor I know why. And I love that you, in these situations, keep your calm. You continuously say “it’s going to be all right” and you walk around with me, sing to me and you continue and continue and continue – calm and comforting – and finally I also calm down.

10)   I love you

I love you because I can feel that you love me . I love that you’re apart of the care-taking, that you are there for me and that I have you. I love you more and more every time you talk to me, look at me, listen to me and respond to me. The more you hug me, caress me, hold me and is there for me. I love you more and more for every day that passes where we’re spending time together.

An old word of wisdom:

When you’re 5 years old, you think your dad knows everything

When you’re 10 years old you think your dad knows a lot

When you’re 15 years old you think you know as much as your dad

When you’re 20 years old your dad doesn’t understand much

When you’re 30 years old you think that maybe you should ask your dad

When you’re 40 years old you think your dad is a bit reasonable

When you’re 50 years old you dad knows everything

When you’re 60 years old you wish your dad was there so you could ask him.

The witching hour

In Denmark also called; the wolf-hour
It's the time from when you pick up the children from daycare/school etc and until you can put (throw) them in bed. I have received a lot of advice from magazines and family members but people tend to forget that each child is different and now that the terrible twos are entering our little household I swear we need a meddler to stand in the line of fire. A personal thing I discovered yesterday was that because I have a cold and I was getting really tired, there had been no nap, I found that my fuse was shorter than normal and that just made things even worse. I think that parents often forget that the children are feeling just like, if not worse, than the grown ups. They are tired, a bit icky, hungry and having no chores they must force themselves occupied with, they are in limbus. A semi-dark place filled with nothing and a slight fog clogging the brain - kinda a hopeless situation and you feel alone. No wonder your kids are hanging on your trouserleg, whining and unable to tell you what they need because they do not know. Imagine if you got home, tired, hungry and icky and just had to wait...

Male logic

I am not one to complain.. ok - sometimes but seriously, male logic makes not sense to me, I know that men suffer from our way of seeing things but they are not too normal themselves.
Examples:

When asking Steve to take the kids to the playground his reasons for not doing it is that Kate doesn't want to leave when it comes to that and Quinten eats sand...
I have argued against the by saying that if we'd take them more often Kate would know that we would come back, maybe even tomorrow, and it's not an annual thing and about Quinten and the sand, well, it comes out again and it might even clean a bit on the way :P

When Quinten doesn't want to go back to sleep in the middle of the night Steve fumes about the boy being difficult, I insist that he check him, like does the diaper needs a change, is the boy running a fever and so on and the man stubbornly insists that none of those things can disturb ones sleep...

Bread - to leave it in the paperbag from the baker will cause it to go dry quickly, not according to the hubby but when proven wrong he denies making that statement along with a comment about Danish bread and bakers....

I want a kitchenaid, to make baking easier, Steve argues that I do not bake enough to have one, it would just stand around collecting dust, I argue that I would bake more if I had my hands free instead of holding the hand-mixer (which sound freaks Quinten out meaning I have to hold him) He still sticks to his statement: it would be a waste... ergo: I do not have a kitchenaid.
I can update this one: my mother brought me a kitchen-aid and Steve now claims I have an easy life because it does all the work for me... oh yes, but off course... :/

More updates to come

2½+1+1=??

First there was 1½, then I entered the family, then came Quinten and now Lily. We're 4½ people in this family, in a 2 bedroom apartment and making it work is exciting - not always good exciting but never the less. When Kate turns 4 this November we've lived here 2/3 of the time on the lease and we cannot wait to get out of here, as much as I love Mortsel I hate the traffic and I hate the neighbours, Steve probably hates the traffic more than me but then again, he gets stuck in it every single day he has to go to work - poor guy!
We have Kate every second weekend and to be honest, I don't always think it's enough, Quinten loves his sister and she loves being here, not sure she always loves him but that's children right?
I love all my children and I consider Kate mine as well - to a certain extend. I enjoy that sometimes I can 'hand over' the responsibility of her to her father and throw my hands in the air with a "Fine! Be that way!" Simply cannot do that with neither of the other two, I am the problem-solver when it comes to them and the safety net.
We are, at best, harmonic and at worst.... don't get me started. Steve and I do not agree on the rules, he says I'm too strict and I say he's too soft. Maybe because I expect so much from Kate, because I do not know what she can and cannot and so little of Quinten because I know exactly what he can and can't. Steve sees Quinten as a mini Kate and gets frustrated when he does not understand or does as told, he sees Kate as his little girl and I think that it often scares him when she grows up and develops as quickly as she does. Not having her on a daily basis is frustrating for him I believe, he misses out on so much and being a man, his eye is not for the details but for the whole picture. I see the details, I see every little thing. I think it's because I'm a mother :P A mother of 2½

The info I didn't get...

When you become a mother things change, well, everything changes. A whole night sleep is not something you can look forward to for a good few years but I think I recall someone who mentioned that - thought they were exaggerating but no... they weren't...
Completely forgetting about yourself, a shower is something you are okay with once a week, make up is overrated and your hair lives it's own life... no wonder new mothers and mothers in general look worn and tired because they are! Extra time, if any, gets prioritized for sleeping, cleaning and preparing for next rush-hour. When your mother calls for a chat you rush into the kitchen so you can have a cigarrette in peace while you do the dishes or sanitise the bottles. Sitting down with a cup of (warm) coffee is someting you dream about but also know is not going to happen until the children either move out or at least know how to go get some food themselves. Then there are other things to worry about, laundry "where's my favourite shirt" and which one is it this week? "The dog ate my homework" We do not have a dog "Mom, can you drive me to the mall/Melinda's place/to school (because it's raining/I'm tired/I cannot find my bike/buspass etc) !" and the list goes on.
Being a mother is an ungrateful and highly underpaid job and until your own children have children of their own they to not apreciate the work you've done for them, until they move out from their childhood home they do not understand the work laundry is, dishes, grocery shopping and don't even get me started on meal planning because let's face it, how much planning is dinner for one?
Todlers or teenagers, it's the same amount of work, diapers for fights over curfew/new phone/haircut and so on, scrapes, bumps and bruises for lying sleepless because they're out all night, sleepless nights with a sick child for broken hearts and hangovers.
A mothers job is never done and you never stop being a mother.

After switching Q onto a different formula, this one in tins, I found myself throwing a lot of this decent sized tins in the recycling bin and with the rubber lid it came with I found the link between always lacking boxes for storage of bits and bobs and these nifty up-cycleable tins.

This tin became a holder for all Kate's crayons....

 And this one for the coffee pads

I used acrylic paint, first a coarse white as a base (normally I would have sanded it a bit with a fine grained piece of sandpaper to get the paint to stick better but the basecoat was enough) I then just coloured away and finished it off with a shiny topcoat, also the bottom even though not painted but I didn't want to risk it rusting or something  knowing that it would be exposed to water and other liquids.

Upcycling - Kate's room

When Kate turned 3 her grandmother bought her a new bed and with me as a 'consultant' in the process of choosing we settled on a lovely white, French country style bed from Ikea which can be pulled out to a double bed, has storage underneath and when I'm turning her bedroom into a teenage bedroom, it was double as a couch. Grandmother would liked to have bought a junior bed, pink and shaped like a carriage, which would also have been lovely but let's face it, we only have her every 2nd weekend and 2-4 weeks of vacation a year, she will not be able to use that bed enough before she's grown out of it and finds it childish. Here should also be mentioned that when she has trouble sleeping it's easy to pull it out to a double and Steve lie with her until she's calm and/or sleeping.
Now for her 3 year old birthday I decided to make her room a real girl's room, to make it more like home and less like somewhere she only stays ever so often - making it more like home. I spend little money decorating it because I had a lot of paintings I did myself and the rest we had from random purchases. I would like to say that one of my more brilliant ideas was to buy decoration flags normally used for parties and I hung them from the ceiling.
 

The butterflies on the wall was something bought by my mother years ago which I never got to use and I love hos they break up the white of the wall.
The flags hanging from the ceiling cost me 3 Euroes
The plastic lei's (Hawai'an flowerbeeds) are from a beach party years back which I was going to use for a painting but never got around to.
The lovely bed is from Ikea

Her wardrobe was a hand-me-down from her grandmother and looked, well to be honest, boring so I painted it. Using acrylic paint I did a Hello Kitty which she loves and a part magical-forest inspired motive
It took me a few days to paint it all but I am happy with the result.
All in all I'm happy with the result of her room, she loves it, it's very pink and girly and after doing this one I cannot wait to make the same for Quinten when we move to a place where he can get his own room and when his little sister arrives and is ready for her own room, she gets the same.

Upcycling - the dining room set

A new trend and something that has caught my mother is upcycling - just a fancy way of saying: smarten up your old stuff and/or giving used items a new purpose. So that means anything from repolstering your old chairs to using old conserves tins as pencilholders. In a consumer, use and throw out, society and with the growing piles of waste land I think it's a good idea - not to mention the financial crises helps in seeing new purposes of old things.
When Steve and I moved into our first and present apartment we didn't have couches or a dining table so we got his grandmother's old sets and let's face it, she's halfway through her 70's and modern is not in her genes - personally I don't really care, I go by the saying: "Beggers can't be choosers" Our budget was tight and it beats sitting on the floor. Now at the local marked I found some nice furniture fabric so I repolstered the chairs and made a table cloth to match, had I had more time and money, I would have painted the wood as well but polstering did a remarkable difference.

 The chair before

The whole set before

The chair after

The whole set after

It's still an old dining room set but I think it's brightened up a bit and the reason why I made the table cloth like that is that I have children and with the ruffled edges, the little one can hold onto it for support without pulling it off the table (and everything with it) He has one time almost pulled it off but he was also hanging from it with his entire body weight (all 10 kg/22 lbs) but it still stayed on long enough for me to get a hold of him and pull him away.

The mummy-mafia: advice

To prepare for a child, a new life entering your life, is as easy as teaching a goldfish to use a bicycle. I found myself reading book and articles and everything I could get my hands on due to the fact that my mother would be far away and I only had few friends who had children and as they all said: "Each child is different" followed by "Parenting is learning by doing!" Still one tries to have everything ready, pack the bag around the 7 months and remember everything (bloody hard when you're just told that the hospital has everything and the father to be is clueless) I still packed all the wrong things though - wrong size of baby clothes, forgot half my toiletries and the tops I thought I could breastfeed in - no good. A Swedish friend of mine told me "No matter how hard you try and how much you think things though - you'll never be prepared for everything" She was right :P
My mother send me on the way towards motherhood with the advice: "Just make sure the baby is dry in one end and wet in the other" One of the best advice given to me and quite simple, you do not need to be a rocket-scientist to figure out which end should be what. My grandmother told me: "When the baby sleeps - you sleep"
So in total: take things as they come, get sleep when you can, try and don't give up and don't despair. And they were right, all of them - well, with the exception of the family members who insisted that I let him cry (as mentioned in other posts - it's not an option for me)
And as we're expecting another one for this summer I can say with pride that I am as little prepared as the first time, I am still clueless on what to do and have no idea how to make everything work but thank the higher powers: it's doesn't matter - everything is going to be just fine.

The mummy-mafia: judgement

On the board of expecting mothers and mothers for toddlers and babies the discussion often occurs: pain-free birth or natural and my current due-group is no exception. I salute the women who give birth naturally but it's not something I would want to try, with Quinten I was in labour for 21 hours, he got stuck and was taken by suction-cup .... so no thanks - I'll take anything they have to offer and you know what, I do not feel one bit like a bad mother or less of a woman for it. Sure some think you miss out of the huge rush of feeling the baby come out but it's not something I have to say I craved after being awake for over 30 hours.
Now comes to the breastfeeding, a mafia of itself. I do understand why it's important for the child to get the first milk and for the bond and closeness to the mother but honestly, if formula was so bad for the baby it would be on prescription. Quinten is not damaged (as far as I can see) nor is he unable to bond with me (he's a friggin velcro-baby) And to be honest, apart from getting rid of the pain of breastfeeding, it was nice to be able to let papa take a feeding shift so I could get some much needed sleep.
On the topic of food we enter a whole world of 'do's and 'don't's and no matter how many people you ask, they always know better and what you're doing is not completely right. Funny thing is: most children survive their parent's choice of food for them.
"Just let him cry" It was an advice that, in the end of the colic period, was enough to make me plot murder and it's still given to me when Q wakes up crying during the night. My baby-nurse is sure that he would just go back to sleep. Yeah right! The problem is, for me, that I do not believe that babies and children are evil plotters who try and rob their parents (mothers) of sleep and energy. When a child cries there is a reason for it, hunger, being tired, needing a hug and so on... all of which I think are important to provide for your child. True, at some point, I am sure a child cries just because they have no idea what else to do, they are bored or just confused about it all but then isn't it the parent's job to help them figure things out? And a hug never hurt anyone :P

You know you're in Belgium when....

A Danish friend of mine reported that one day he was taking the bus, the busdriver suddenly stopped, turned to look at his passengers and asked if they knew which road he had to take.... I kid you not! That has never happened to me (or not yet) I have given directions to the cabdriver on more than one occasion back home in Denmark but then again, my parents live in a maze of villas.
In Belgium everything gets served with fries, then again, why shouldn't it - they invented the grease soaked little buggers. And mayonnaise.... I don't mind, I actually like the combination but sometimes I miss a good baked potato or rosti's or just plain old boiled taters.
Everything is in at least two languages, French and Dutch and that includes the subtitles on the movies in the cinema, quite confusing to hear the language spoken in English and then rush your eyes to the subtitles and get confused twice followed by missing the next 30 seconds of the movie, having to read more subtitles so get what just happened but not understand it fully.... No need to say, I hardly go to the cinema, I'd rather stay home and read a book where I can turn the page back again if I didn't get it the first time.
Everyone is eager to help you with your language skills (or lack of) and will repeat a word multiple times to get the pronunciation right.... that's very sweet but sometimes my tongue just doesn't turn that way and that word becomes impossible.... much to their amusement. They do not laugh in your face, no they are rather polite people but they give you a knowing smile and a small suppressed chuckle - Dutch is NOT impossible to learn - just bloody hard!
When you around the 6th of December stumble across a thing called Sinter Klaes, when Santa comes by boat from Spain with minions (all painted black as the night) leaving candy and cookies in your shoe and instead of putting out milk and cookies or ricepudding as we do in Denmark, you leave a cube of sugar or a carrot for the white horse the Sint is riding on... oh yes, and all children who are bad, gets put in the sack and taken back to Spain. Of course the children also gets presents on Christmas but also on New Years....
When you have a discussion with your grandmother, trying to explain to her again where you live, that Holland and Belgium is not the same country, they are neighbouring countries and they have the same national language but both have their own government and different monarchs.
They use Azerty keyboards instead of Qwerty (which the rest of the world uses) It's only a few keys difference but dang it makes typing difficult.
I think I could continue for quite a while

I do not understand children...

Children are weird creatures if you ask me, they start out helpless, then grow and become more and more self-sufficient but if abilities fail, they are back at square one - or so it seems. My gorgeous bonus-daughter pinches the babypowder out of the changing bag and emptied it into her bed... why? She didn't know and I didn't know... the bed smells nicely but the sheets needs a wash (even though newly washed)
She was playing with the toilet brush, 'cleaning' the toilet and causing a small flooding of the toilet-room, why? She didn't know and I still don't know... I guess it was because it was fun, well, more fun playing (her) than having to clean up (me)
My son is happily playing in his pen but as soon as he sees me, he falls over, tumbles and doesn't like his toys anymore, stretches his arms out for me to come pick him up, why? He's too young to explain why the sight of me reminded him that he was alone and neglected.
And then there is the fight against Morpheus, always! every night! every day (unless we're out walking) He's so tired he cannot focus and his head keeps dropping, eyes are constantly being rubbed but no, we do not give up! We're stronger than him and we'll go down kicking and screaming - literally! It's funny to watch though, annoying to listen to and horrible dealing with but one day, we hope he's going to be like his sister who is a blessing (mostly!) when it comes to bedtime.
In general children are lovely, difficult, charming and pains and one day, when they have children they will understand what we went though with them.... just like we now understand what our parents went through with us.... is it called Circle of Life?

10 reasons Steve shouldn't marry me

None of us are perfect and I do believe that if either one or both were, we wouldn't be together :P

1) I do not wash his dirty clothes if they are not in the hamper...

2) Dinner is only cooked and ready for him when he gets home if I'm bothered (and have time of course)

3) I ridicule him, at home, in public, in front of his family and as often as I can

4) I don't feel bad if the baby and I take up all the space in the bad so he's left to sleep in Kate's room or on the couch

5) I am teaching our son to say 'Papa' so he will call for him at night and not me = more sleep for me!

6) I punch him at night when he snores and kicks him in the morning to get him out of bed

7) I have no problem in shrugging my shoulder when he mentions something that needs doing and replying: "Well, I haven't had the time..."

8) I tell him openly if I have a problem with him, his friend, his family but gets really defensive if he says something less than positive and praising about mine

9) Even though we're not married he hears "I am your wife - I'm the greatest good you're ever gonna get!" at least once a week.

and finally - the ultimate reason why he should not marry me:

10) I'd choose our son, his daughter, my cat or a chicken kebab (if hungry) over him any day of the week!