First there was 1½, then I entered the family, then came Quinten and now Lily. We're 4½ people in this family, in a 2 bedroom apartment and making it work is exciting - not always good exciting but never the less. When Kate turns 4 this November we've lived here 2/3 of the time on the lease and we cannot wait to get out of here, as much as I love Mortsel I hate the traffic and I hate the neighbours, Steve probably hates the traffic more than me but then again, he gets stuck in it every single day he has to go to work - poor guy!
We have Kate every second weekend and to be honest, I don't always think it's enough, Quinten loves his sister and she loves being here, not sure she always loves him but that's children right?
I love all my children and I consider Kate mine as well - to a certain extend. I enjoy that sometimes I can 'hand over' the responsibility of her to her father and throw my hands in the air with a "Fine! Be that way!" Simply cannot do that with neither of the other two, I am the problem-solver when it comes to them and the safety net.
We are, at best, harmonic and at worst.... don't get me started. Steve and I do not agree on the rules, he says I'm too strict and I say he's too soft. Maybe because I expect so much from Kate, because I do not know what she can and cannot and so little of Quinten because I know exactly what he can and can't. Steve sees Quinten as a mini Kate and gets frustrated when he does not understand or does as told, he sees Kate as his little girl and I think that it often scares him when she grows up and develops as quickly as she does. Not having her on a daily basis is frustrating for him I believe, he misses out on so much and being a man, his eye is not for the details but for the whole picture. I see the details, I see every little thing. I think it's because I'm a mother :P A mother of 2½
søndag den 5. august 2012
The info I didn't get...
When you become a mother things change, well, everything changes. A whole night sleep is not something you can look forward to for a good few years but I think I recall someone who mentioned that - thought they were exaggerating but no... they weren't...
Completely forgetting about yourself, a shower is something you are okay with once a week, make up is overrated and your hair lives it's own life... no wonder new mothers and mothers in general look worn and tired because they are! Extra time, if any, gets prioritized for sleeping, cleaning and preparing for next rush-hour. When your mother calls for a chat you rush into the kitchen so you can have a cigarrette in peace while you do the dishes or sanitise the bottles. Sitting down with a cup of (warm) coffee is someting you dream about but also know is not going to happen until the children either move out or at least know how to go get some food themselves. Then there are other things to worry about, laundry "where's my favourite shirt" and which one is it this week? "The dog ate my homework" We do not have a dog "Mom, can you drive me to the mall/Melinda's place/to school (because it's raining/I'm tired/I cannot find my bike/buspass etc) !" and the list goes on.
Being a mother is an ungrateful and highly underpaid job and until your own children have children of their own they to not apreciate the work you've done for them, until they move out from their childhood home they do not understand the work laundry is, dishes, grocery shopping and don't even get me started on meal planning because let's face it, how much planning is dinner for one?
Todlers or teenagers, it's the same amount of work, diapers for fights over curfew/new phone/haircut and so on, scrapes, bumps and bruises for lying sleepless because they're out all night, sleepless nights with a sick child for broken hearts and hangovers.
A mothers job is never done and you never stop being a mother.
Completely forgetting about yourself, a shower is something you are okay with once a week, make up is overrated and your hair lives it's own life... no wonder new mothers and mothers in general look worn and tired because they are! Extra time, if any, gets prioritized for sleeping, cleaning and preparing for next rush-hour. When your mother calls for a chat you rush into the kitchen so you can have a cigarrette in peace while you do the dishes or sanitise the bottles. Sitting down with a cup of (warm) coffee is someting you dream about but also know is not going to happen until the children either move out or at least know how to go get some food themselves. Then there are other things to worry about, laundry "where's my favourite shirt" and which one is it this week? "The dog ate my homework" We do not have a dog "Mom, can you drive me to the mall/Melinda's place/to school (because it's raining/I'm tired/I cannot find my bike/buspass etc) !" and the list goes on.
Being a mother is an ungrateful and highly underpaid job and until your own children have children of their own they to not apreciate the work you've done for them, until they move out from their childhood home they do not understand the work laundry is, dishes, grocery shopping and don't even get me started on meal planning because let's face it, how much planning is dinner for one?
Todlers or teenagers, it's the same amount of work, diapers for fights over curfew/new phone/haircut and so on, scrapes, bumps and bruises for lying sleepless because they're out all night, sleepless nights with a sick child for broken hearts and hangovers.
A mothers job is never done and you never stop being a mother.
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