Hit the ground running

When you become a mother you seriously hit the ground running, you can read oh so many books, go to parenting class, birth preparation, first aid-classes and so on but there is nothing that can prepare you for the change a child has on your life. The lack of sleep is something your body will adjust to, the countless hours walking with the little one on your arm, the uneasy sleep in the rocking chair (but still sleep) and still we manage. Maybe not to the perfect grade that our parents think they could manage in same situation but we manage. True, the children doesn't always have clothes that match, there might be jam on the trousers and a bit of yoghurt in the hair but the child is thriving, happy, full and with a relative clean diaper. Everyone thinks they can do it muuuuuch better but no one can, once you're a parent you are everything to your child, they do not see it as neglect that you serve them frosted flakes for dinner or that the livingroom needs a serious amount of cleaning - there simply is no time. As long as there is time for the child, to be held, to be hugged and to be kissed. It's important, they know it and you know it. Perfection is something that comes later or from day one if you can see that the perfection is your wonderful little bundle of joy - everything else is obsolete.

Running with scissors

In life, your parents have taught you to be careful, to sit and eat without making too much of a mess, to dress yourself, to be kind and polite and all the other basics of life but have your ever wondered about the process? How much work went into teaching you to hold your fork right? Which shoe goes on which foot? For every day I spend as a parents I become more and more grateful for my mother and for the enormous work she put into raising me. True that it takes a village to raise a child but I certainly do not see the mayor coming by to help change diapers, or the merchant cleaning spilled milk off my kitchenfloor or the town idiot wrestling my toddler into his jammies. And while teaching all the basics you also have to remember the safety-dance. Fire is hot, fingers stuck in the door hurts, the toilet is not a source of water and so on. It's a constant race to keep up with them, what will they think of now? and more importantly, how do I prevent it and stay 2 steps ahead of them? Needless to say, my son is always covered in bruises, sometimes I suspect people of thinking that I beat him, I promise, I don't - there is no need to, he is perfectly capable of causing injury to himself.
When he climbs onto the officechair and from there tries to get onto the computer-table I fear the chair is gonna slip from under him and often it does, I brace myself for the fall and cross my fingers, hoping that this time he'll learn but does he? It hasn't happened yet.
When he slams the door on his fingers I comfort him and ask him if that hurt and please not to do it again, I turn my back and he goes over and does it again. Sometimes I wonder if one of the many falls he's taken has caused permanent damage.
Life brings you scars, bumps and bruises and our parents did one hell of a job raising us and now it's our turn, I'm sure all my children will survive, more or less intact and when it's their turn I will rest on my laurels, offer advice when asked and just ENJOY that: "Been there, done that!"

I love you dad

This is from an article written by a child-nurse in a new letter for new parents. I love how she describes the whole father/dad-role. It is truly underrated and I think all fathers should read this and hopefully learn just how precious and valuable they are to the upbringing of a child.

The other day a father told me: ”It’s weird becoming a father – often I feel more like a handy man than a dad” It’s a bit worrying and actually a shame… because obviously, as a father, you’re more than just a ‘handy man’. You mean a lot to your child from the very beginning – even though your child is too young to tell you. That’s why I’ve written down my 10 suggestions to what your child would tell you if it could.

1) I love your deep voice

When you talk to me I get calm. I know your voice from when I was 22 weeks old and in mum’s belly – when you speak I hear it clearly- Your voice reaches my ears and effect me because it’s deeper than other voices I hear. When I am really upset I calm down as I hear your deep there-there or schyss-schyss

2) I love the sound of your heartbeat.

When I lie on your chest, I feel completely safe. It reminds me of the time I spend in the uterus, where I could hear the heartbeat, feel the breathing and also the heat from your body. I enjoy lying with you, it makes me feel safe. The more we’re together – physically close together – the more you hold me, carry me close, the better it is.

3 

            3) I love your beard.

When I am 5 to 6 weeks old, I start to differ more between contrast and colour and I get fascinated by contrasts and shades. When I look at your face it’s particular exciting to look at your beard because it creates a contrast to your skin, like your hair and forehead often catch my eye. I love it when you hold me so I can look at your face and study it for a long time.

4) I love it that you do not smell like milk

It’s difficult for me to figure out what my need is. Sometimes I think I need to eat all the time but actually I have loads of milk in my belly and I need help calming down instead. When I lie with you I do not get confused by the smell of milk. That’s why I sleep better by you, I stop crying, calm down and falls asleep because you do not smell like milk.

5) I love that you signal security

When you hold me in your hands and when I’m in your arms, I can feel your bodystructure, your bigger muscels and your wider, bigger hands. It makes me feel safe and gives me a feeling that you’re able to handle me. I’m not scared that you’re going to drop me, on the contrary, it gives me the feeling that I am completely safe with you and that you take care of me.

6) I love reflecting myself in you

I love watching you and what you do. When you stick your tongue out, I try and do the same, when you wink at me or say funny sounds, I try to copy that. There is something truly fascinating about the faces you pull and I love watching you.

        7) I love that you let me try

I love that you’re there when it’s time to explore the world and when I am testing myself. It’s not often that you say: “Be careful!”, instead we explore the world together and you often focus on what’s new, fun and exciting.

8) I love that you’re fun

You’re so fun to play with. You’re always trouble and when you tease me, it’s always with love and a gleam in your eyes. I really like when you swing me around, dance with me in the livingroom or turn me upside down. The best thing is when you tickle me with your fingers, from the tip of my toes, up the legs, over the belly and under my chin. I flex my body from the excitement and it’s fun every single time.

9)     I love your peace and perspective

Sometimes I can cause you parents to worry, sometimes I cry and I’m having difficulty stopping, sometimes I’m tired, sometimes my tummy hurts and sometimes I’m just sad and neither you nor I know why. And I love that you, in these situations, keep your calm. You continuously say “it’s going to be all right” and you walk around with me, sing to me and you continue and continue and continue – calm and comforting – and finally I also calm down.

10)   I love you

I love you because I can feel that you love me . I love that you’re apart of the care-taking, that you are there for me and that I have you. I love you more and more every time you talk to me, look at me, listen to me and respond to me. The more you hug me, caress me, hold me and is there for me. I love you more and more for every day that passes where we’re spending time together.

An old word of wisdom:

When you’re 5 years old, you think your dad knows everything

When you’re 10 years old you think your dad knows a lot

When you’re 15 years old you think you know as much as your dad

When you’re 20 years old your dad doesn’t understand much

When you’re 30 years old you think that maybe you should ask your dad

When you’re 40 years old you think your dad is a bit reasonable

When you’re 50 years old you dad knows everything

When you’re 60 years old you wish your dad was there so you could ask him.