The mummy-mafia: advice

To prepare for a child, a new life entering your life, is as easy as teaching a goldfish to use a bicycle. I found myself reading book and articles and everything I could get my hands on due to the fact that my mother would be far away and I only had few friends who had children and as they all said: "Each child is different" followed by "Parenting is learning by doing!" Still one tries to have everything ready, pack the bag around the 7 months and remember everything (bloody hard when you're just told that the hospital has everything and the father to be is clueless) I still packed all the wrong things though - wrong size of baby clothes, forgot half my toiletries and the tops I thought I could breastfeed in - no good. A Swedish friend of mine told me "No matter how hard you try and how much you think things though - you'll never be prepared for everything" She was right :P
My mother send me on the way towards motherhood with the advice: "Just make sure the baby is dry in one end and wet in the other" One of the best advice given to me and quite simple, you do not need to be a rocket-scientist to figure out which end should be what. My grandmother told me: "When the baby sleeps - you sleep"
So in total: take things as they come, get sleep when you can, try and don't give up and don't despair. And they were right, all of them - well, with the exception of the family members who insisted that I let him cry (as mentioned in other posts - it's not an option for me)
And as we're expecting another one for this summer I can say with pride that I am as little prepared as the first time, I am still clueless on what to do and have no idea how to make everything work but thank the higher powers: it's doesn't matter - everything is going to be just fine.

The mummy-mafia: judgement

On the board of expecting mothers and mothers for toddlers and babies the discussion often occurs: pain-free birth or natural and my current due-group is no exception. I salute the women who give birth naturally but it's not something I would want to try, with Quinten I was in labour for 21 hours, he got stuck and was taken by suction-cup .... so no thanks - I'll take anything they have to offer and you know what, I do not feel one bit like a bad mother or less of a woman for it. Sure some think you miss out of the huge rush of feeling the baby come out but it's not something I have to say I craved after being awake for over 30 hours.
Now comes to the breastfeeding, a mafia of itself. I do understand why it's important for the child to get the first milk and for the bond and closeness to the mother but honestly, if formula was so bad for the baby it would be on prescription. Quinten is not damaged (as far as I can see) nor is he unable to bond with me (he's a friggin velcro-baby) And to be honest, apart from getting rid of the pain of breastfeeding, it was nice to be able to let papa take a feeding shift so I could get some much needed sleep.
On the topic of food we enter a whole world of 'do's and 'don't's and no matter how many people you ask, they always know better and what you're doing is not completely right. Funny thing is: most children survive their parent's choice of food for them.
"Just let him cry" It was an advice that, in the end of the colic period, was enough to make me plot murder and it's still given to me when Q wakes up crying during the night. My baby-nurse is sure that he would just go back to sleep. Yeah right! The problem is, for me, that I do not believe that babies and children are evil plotters who try and rob their parents (mothers) of sleep and energy. When a child cries there is a reason for it, hunger, being tired, needing a hug and so on... all of which I think are important to provide for your child. True, at some point, I am sure a child cries just because they have no idea what else to do, they are bored or just confused about it all but then isn't it the parent's job to help them figure things out? And a hug never hurt anyone :P