BPD

Borderline Personal Disorder
Yup, the whole 9 yard, a combination of OCD, EDNOS, nervous disorder, multiple suicide attempts, selfmutilation and loads of other goodies.... I've been diagnosed for about 9 years now, not that it helps the healing process, the only thing that helps is therapy and time and I've invested in both which is why I have been able to come to this point of my life, I needed to understand my disorder before I could live with it and handle it on a daily basis. Cured? Never, it's one of those things you have to live with for the rest of your life but it gets easier, when you have the tools you learn to read yourself and prevent panic attacks, the anger, the confusion, the compulsive actions but it's not fool proof, I still have days when getting out of bed seems as easy as learning to fly or study Nano-technology and times when I go to the supermarket and the amount of people might as well be a pack of mad dogs: equally scary!
Some days are good and some days are bad, I have times when nothing can get me down and times when just dropping my toothbrush ruins everything. I seriously pity Steve but I know I was honest with him from the very beginning, he knew what he was getting himself into or rather, he thought he did. You can never prepare a person to what goes on in the human mind, especially not in the mind of something who is 'slightly off'. A good saying is: "For those who know, no explanation is necessary, for those who don't, none will do"
But I do my bit of it as well, I take my medicine and my vitamins and fish-oils (they are good for the brain) I listen to myself so if I am edgy I do not go to the supermarket, if I am restless I do not stay home all day, if I'm feeling down I avoid alcohol and unhealthy foods. As said, I do my bit and I do it because I can no longer allow myself to be selfish, I have people depending on me, relying on me and I would never do anything to disappoint them.